Being a parent can bring a lot of joy, whether these are your own children or you decide to become a foster carer. However, it can also be exhausting at times. The daily demands of juggling work, home responsibilities, childcare, and more leave many parents constantly caring for others but rarely caring for themselves. However, self-care is vital for parents too. Taking time to recharge allows parents and foster carers to be more present, patient, and positive with their kids. Making self-care a priority benefits the whole family.
Why Parent Self-Care Matters
It’s easy for parents to fall into the trap of believing their needs are insignificant compared to their families’. However, neglecting self-care impacts more than just parents and foster carers—it affects their parenting. Mums and dads who are worn out, stressed, or unhappy have less energy, patience, and joy to bring to parenting. This can influence everything from missing precious bonding moments to overreacting to minor misbehaviors.
In contrast, when parents care for themselves, they parent better because their own cups are full. Self-care helps parents and foster carers be fully present with their children, empathise more easily, regulate their own emotions better, and enjoy parenting. Taking care of basic needs for sleep, healthy food, exercise, relaxation, and connection replenishes depleted reserves so parents have more inner resources available for their demanding role.
Barriers to Self-Care
Despite understanding the benefits of self-care, many parents still struggle to make it a reality. The #1 barrier? Finding time. Parenting can easily consume all free time, leaving mums and dads and foster carers perpetually caring for others. Household responsibilities only add to this, especially for working parents trying to balance careers and family life.
Additionally, many parents grapple with guilt over taking personal time for self-care. Parents may feel selfish spending time or money on themselves when there are always more things they could be doing for their families. However, reframing self-care as an essential tool that ultimately benefits the kids can help lessen guilt.
Finally, parents often simply feel too exhausted to follow through on self-care plans. Good intentions evaporate in the face of bath times, laundry loads, work deadlines, and dozens of other daily demands. Identifying convenient and realistic ways to integrate bits of self-care into existing routines makes it more sustainable.
Easy Self-Care Ideas for Parents
Fortunately, self-care doesn’t require expensive spa vacations or hours of alone time. Parents can care for themselves with small daily practices that refresh and reenergise. Easy ideas include:
- Savoring morning coffee for 10 peaceful minutes before the house wakes up
- Listening to a podcast or favourite music during the commute
- Taking a bubble bath after the kids go to bed
- Waking up 30 minutes early to exercise, meditate, or enjoy quiet time
- Saying no to nonessential activities to protect free time
- Hiring a babysitter for a regular parents’ night out
- Prioritising nutritious food and staying hydrated
- Creating a nighttime routine that ensures enough sleep
- Practicing mindful breathing while handling chaotic moments
The key is choosing quick self-care habits that seamlessly fit into existing routines. This makes it easier to make them lifelong practices, not just temporary fixes. Even 5-10 minutes here and there to stop and recharge makes a difference.
Setting Reasonable Expectations
In today’s image-saturated culture, self-care often evokes visions of flawless people with perfectly balanced lives. However, for busy parents and foster carers, the reality looks much different. It’s vital to set reasonable expectations about what self-care can achieve to avoid adding guilt over one more thing to achieve.
Self-care won’t miraculously create order from chaos overnight. But committing to small, sustainable practices that tend to emotional and physical needs bit by bit can gradually create positive change. Getting enough sleep consistently might eventually boost energy more than an occasional all-day spa visit when running on fumes.
Parents deserve care as much as their children do. Integrating brief periods of self-nurturing into each day realistically supports mental and physical health amidst the demands of parenting. Staying fueled and refreshed through quick self-care habits allows parents to sustainably care for their families over the long haul. The entire family benefits when parents’ needs are nurtured too.
Making Self-Care Work
Even armed with an arsenal of self-care strategies, busyness and obligations can still derail efforts. What else helps parents prioritise caring for themselves amidst the demands of family life?
- Enlist support. Asking family or friends for practical help makes space for self-care. If you are fostering, ask your agency about respite care options.
- Simplify priorities. Declutter calendars and focus on what matters most. Reducing extra activities and obligations frees up time and energy. Learn to say no.
- Schedule self-care. Just like medical appointments and play dates, actually writing “self-care time” into calendars makes it routine, not optional.
- Start small AND start today. Postponing self-care until tomorrow, next week, or some future perfect time guarantees it will keep getting bumped. Even 5 minutes helps.
- Model healthy habits. Kids watch parents’ behaviour more than they listen to lectures. Showing children through daily lifestyle choices that self-care matters influences them too.
By making space for their own needs as routinely as their families’ needs, parents teach their kids it’s not selfish to care for oneself. After all, pouring from an empty cup never works for long. Self-care allows parents to keep giving fully to their beloved children without running on empty.
Recharging Resources for Parents
Fortunately, parents need not figure out self-care alone. Many organisations and support communities offer ideas, resources and solidarity to help families thrive. Some great places to look include:
- Local community centers or places of worship often host classes, activities, childcare options and support groups.
- Online communities like Facebook parenting groups provide solidarity and tips.
- Books like How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids offer actionable strategies.
- Podcasts like Where Should We Begin give an intimate glimpse into all kinds of family dynamics.
- Parenting coaches, counsellors or other professionals provide personalised guidance.
- Speak to your foster agency if you need support with foster children. Agencies like fcascotland.co.uk have all kinds of resources, such as information on fostering allowances, training, and more.
The key is recognising that self-care is not selfish. Parents cannot sustainably give to others without having their own needs met first. By caring for themselves, parents like you model critical self-care skills for the next generation too
