Pity party has become a common expression. We all have days when life gets the best of us, and we do end up feeling sorry for ourselves, especially when we were not to be blamed.
While you might be indulging yourself with thoughts about how you have been short-changed, it is anything but helpful.
The thoughts of self-pity can be a slippery slope, with you then starting a defeatist mindset, or worse yet, start thinking as if everyone is out to get you. Anything that goes wrong is not your fault at all.
Here, it is important to distinguish your run of the mill self-pity with depression. The former can be catered to with change in mindset or even therapy, the latter requires treatment form a Psychiatrist in Karachi. While you can control your thoughts of self-pity, you cannot change your state when depressed.
Why is self-pity bad?
Recounting incidents of how sorry your state is requires a lot of time and energy. Moreover, this journey can also be extremely exhausting. Thinking of all the times you were let down can also cause the influx of negative emotions that then has a grave impact on your mood.
Furthermore, self-pity is not constructive; on the contrary, it can be a destructive habit. Such thoughts can also prevent you from achieving your goals, so you end up being stuck in your situation.
So, how to stop feeling sorry for myself?
Focus on the lesson
Nothing in life is devoid of a lesson. Instead of practicing self-destructive thoughts, try to find the learning moment in all of your ordeal. Use it to build resilience. Try then to make yourself even better, so that the thing that went wrong now, ends up becoming your strongest suit.
One way to get over your pity party is by helping others. When you see people who are less fortunate than you, or see yourself helping others in different situations, it becomes a humbling experience that aids in getting rid of the negative clout. You realize how your life is not always bad.
Ride the emotional tide
You are feeling let down, disappointed, broken, alone? That’s okay. It is perfectly fine for everyone to experience a wide range of such emotions. Rather than jumping on the pity party train, which ultimately leads to a downward spiral, embrace those feelings.
Live the emotions, and then get through the time. Validating your emotions is important, but if you get stuck on remaining sorry, you will simply be stuck at this point. Move on, move forwards.
One way to stop the avalanche of how everything bad happens to you is by focusing on the blessings that you have, and then being grateful for them. During bouts of self-pity, your mind may tend to focus on the negative, but when you counter with all that you have, you gain perspective. It humbles you, especially when you compare your privileges to people who don’t have them.
Gratitude also aids in promoting contentment, kindness, and peace of mind. However, don’t practice it only when you are feeling down, but make it a constant so that you become mentally stronger.
Try to change your mindset
A big part of us feeling sorry for ourselves is played by our subjectivities. When our mindset focuses on playing the victim mentality, whereby everyone is foe and out to get you, you will naturally keep on with the pattern of self-pity.
Therefore, it is imperative that you change your mindset. If it is not something that you are able to do all on your own, consult a mental health expert like those at Fauji Foundation Hospital for help this time. Therapists can better understand why you feel this way and give you coping time so that you get out of the cycle of self-pity.